Monday

Have been doing a lot of thinking tonight.  I realize I can hold a grudge.  In my life, I have been abandoned by 2 mothers and a father.  However both mothers decided to come back into my life around the same time.  And it was a case of "let's forget about what was and there was nothing in the middle".  Everything is normal, we go on as if nothing happened.  Excuse me, but FUCK THAT.  I am not going to forget everything and just act like everything is normal.  I hate swearing, but there are a few times when it is warranted and this is one of them.

Sorry for the rant.  It just really ticks me off that they expect me to be available when they decide to show up, like it's a family obligation.  There has never actually been a family situation.

O.k. I have gotten it out of my system.  Deep breaths.  Relax.  Done.

How are all my friends today?  Hope you are having a great week.  Just took Kayla for her walk.  We had a storm a little earlier this evening and when we went out there was no rain, but there was fog.  I love walking on a foggy evening.  Ran into an old friend in the park and sat and talked with her for a while.  It was so nice.  And Kayla just laid down and waited until we were ready to go. 

Seeing the ear doctor tomorrow.  Hope he can make my trip a little easier.  Other than that, not a lot happening.    Work and cleaning,  but then, the dust bunnies don't go anywhere, so I get to them when I can. :-).  Have  a great week, my friends.

TTFN

Comments

Julie M said…
Not sure if I can hold grudge as you put it but I do have a hard time forgiving some. It seems to me that your mothers possibly were too busy with their own lives when they were younger to be bothered with you but now that they are getting older they want you in their lives. Am I being harsh, probably, please tell me to mind my own business if you think so. I hate swearing too and never, never say that word, you must be feeling rather cross. Do you feel like you are being used? I suspect these are the week end visitors you mentioned. It does help to talk or rant as you put it, get it off your chest. Same happened to me yesterday, ran into two neighbours I don't often talk to and had a lovely long chat. Jackie just wandered around my legs and waited patiently for us to finish catching up. She is such a good little girl. I hate vacuuming and dusting, the minute you dust it seems to be back again. I have timber venetians at most windows and I laugh that they all have a health layer of dust on them. Hope all went well for you at the doctors. Thursday tomorrow, I have an appointment at the beauty salon tomorrow afternoon for an overhaul, I will probably be gone for at least two days, ha. Have a great Wednesday luv. Julie xoxoxo
September 14, 2011 at 8:32 AM
Belinda said…
Julie, thank you. I wanted to vent and I did. Both women are very self-centered. They don't believe they should be held accountable for what they did in their "youth". I have always held myself accountable for whatever I did, no matter how old.

Jackie sounds like such a darling. So sweet a girl. I hate the vacuuming and dusting too. But it doesn't go away on its own.

I am sure it won't take that long at the salon. You have a lovely face. Not too much they would need to do with it.

Take care, dear. XXX
September 14, 2011 at 10:29 PM
Julie M said…
Ahh Belinda I am a firm believer in getting things off your chest, it makes everything seem better and more cheerful. Here in Australia and I suppose worldwide people just aren't accountable for their actions, not responsible for what they do. It all seems about ME. I have big trouble with this, I seem to put everyone before me, but then that is how I like it, I am comfortable that way. Maybe that was the thing with your 'mothers' I don't know but it is more than a bit unfair of them to expect you to forgive, forget and for you to welcome them with open arms into your life now. I think I would probably tolerate them and try not to become too involved, if possible of course. I wonder what their childhood and mothers were like? Life seems to become more complicated the older we become, I know mine has. My Jackie is just the sweetiest little doggie, so easy to live with, no problems at all. You can take a bone, treat or food out of her mouth, no growling she just sits there waiting for you to give it back to her. When I go away with work she goes to a neighbour, Elizabeth (from the UK originally) she calls her her little treasure and is always sad to see her go. I was just teasing and joking about the beauty salon. Paul and Karina gave me a gift voucher for last Christmas and I haven't used it. Thought I should before it was Christmas again. I don't have anything fancy done, just a bit of a facial it was nice. I'm not into make up, (don't like it on me at all)expensive face creams and the like. What you see is what you get, I wash my face in Soap, heaven forbid. Ha ha Great to talk to you, I really enjoy our conversations. Friday evening here8.15 pm and I think about 6.16 am your time Friday morning. Have a great day and please talk soon. Love Julie xoxox
September 16, 2011 at 6:18 AM
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