So this year is almost over. It has been a tough one. Mainly due to my psycho neighbor. But it has also been good in many ways. Cassie is getting so big and developing a great personality. Kayla has slowed down soooooo much. I am almost thinking she won't make it to Summer. That is the heartbreak of owning a dog. She started having her panic attacks again, but with the pheromones and the white noise, they seem to be calming down. Funny how the kids asked about babysitting availability because the daycare closes down for the holidays, but when you ask, they have made all kinds of other arrangements. Not that I am complaining. I did my childcare. Dealt with all these problems. They are learning. To all my friends, I wish you a wonderful New Year with lots of happy surprises and few miseries. I hope you have a wonderful year. TTFN
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OK, I am almost 60 years old and never expected my life to end up like this. 2014 has sucked. Since the birth of Cassidy, I seem to be persona non grata. I will be having another Christmas day alone. The saying of "A son is a son until he takes a wife" seems to be true. She ends up taking my son and my granddaughter to her parents on Christmas day. Which means I will be alone most of the day. This year, I have had to deal with being terrorized by my neighbor. I need family more than ever, but it is not there. I don't want to guilt my son into anything. Her family is too large to fit into my apartment, or I would invite them all here. I don't know what I have done to deserve this. Everything just seems to keep getting worse. What the fuck? My life has just been one big suck after another. Karma, whatever I did to deserve this, I am sorry. Please get the hell away from me.
Maybe I am just being weird tonight. Not sure. But my life has been crap. I try to do the right thing. I try to help whenever I can. But nothing ever seems to go right for me. My son and my granddaughter are the light of my life, but everything else seems to be dark. Nothing goes right. Why? I hate this. I am being terrorized by my neighbor, but nothing is being done about it. I did nothing to deserve this. I haven't had a full night sleep in weeks. I just don't get it. Maybe I am over-reacting. Don't think so, but still, it takes its toll. Sigh. Guess I just have to grin and bare it.
OK, have to admit that I am a Harry Potter fan. Just watched the last movie in the series and cried again. Maybe it is just that I root for the underdog. I don't know. But I could watch them forever. LOL. Easter weekend and I will have the kids on Sunday. Yes. More time with Cassie. Happy grandma. So tired, it is only 10:30. But I got up really early this morning as the delivery of my sofa was scheduled between 8 and 12. And you know if you sleep in they will come at 8. Of course they didn't as I was up at 7. I had a neighbor down for a bit. She is a high maintenance person. Spent an hour and a half listening to her talk about a person I know, but not well, and all her marital problems and difficulties. Yea! Don't know how I stayed awake. Well, must walk the dog now. Have a wonderful Easter my friends. TTFN.
Reading through all the posts on FB has caused me to stop and think. Especially from my American friends. All the posts about supporting the troops who are fighting for our freedom. Other than 9/11, who is attacking us? It seems to me the troops are invading other countries more than other countries are invading us. So who the hell are we protecting our freedom from? The governments deal with other governments, and deals are made. So who the hell is threatening our freedom these days? I don't see the Iraqis here threatening us. But I see the US in Iraq threatening their way of life. I see the US in Afghanistan threatening their way of life. While I don't agree with what they do, why do we have a right to order them how to behave. We say, if you can't live by our laws, go back where you came from. But then we go there and impose our ways on them. Doesn't make a whole lot of sense to me. When it comes to harming others, whether human or animal, I agree that
I have so much going for me, but I also have so many worries. Sometimes it all seems a little overwhelming. I try to get ahead, then stuff comes up to knock me back again. Two steps forward and one step back. Maybe it is the long winter that is getting me down, it probably is. Just feeling a little down tonight. Worry about the family. There is probably a little jealousy there too. Sweet Cassy seems to throw tantrums with me, but gets along well with others. I could be wrong. I adore her, but don't know if I have the strength to deal with the tantrums. Been there, done that. LOL. Be that as it may, I love her with all my heart. She is my hope. I don't want her to settle, I want her to shake things up. I hope she does. Her other grandparents don't seem to believe in standing up for stuff. Maybe I am too radical. Oh, well. That's how I am. I am so tired. This winter is taking its toll. I will shut down for now. Hopefully the sun and the warmth
