My life is a mess.   Nothing is turning out the way I would like.  Seems anything I want, I can't have, even the simplest of things.

I don't believe I am a bad person, but nothing ever seems to go my way.  Never enough money, never anything new, never getting anything I want.

Maybe it is just my turning 60.  But I thought I would be farther than I am.  Still in the same lousy apartment.  Still slaving away.  Can't get another dog.  I so miss having a dog.  I am lost without one.

Funny, but where I live, everyone comes to me for help, but there is usually no one there for me when I need it.  I guess I am so tired.  Someone posted about why we are on Facebook.  I don't really have any friends where I am.  I am sort of at that in-between age.  Either everyone is much younger or much older.  I don't really fit in.

I just don't know what else I can do.  I try to be good, try to help, but nothing seems to work.  Oh, well.  I guess that is the same with many people.  But it hurts.  I don't care that my car is 18 years old, or my apartment has cracks in the walls, I just wish I could do more for Cassie and have a dog.  That is my wish for my birthday.  I want a dog.

Anyhow, enough whining for today.
TTFN.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Sunday

It has been a strange day, weather wise.  Woke up to pouring rain, then beautiful sunshine, the pouring rain again.  Weird.  I am really missing Mumbushi this week.  Loved that little guy.  FB is getting a little weird.  We had a really nice group, then it grew.  In some ways it is a little better, in some ways, I liked the group we had.  Can you tell I don't like change too much?  I think I am just feeling too sentimental tonight.  Missing all my babies and can't wait to see them.  Mumbushi was only with us a short time, but he touched a lot of lives.  I am so sorry I never got to meet him.  Oh, Lord, the tears are starting. A little upset tonight.  Maybe I am being a little petty, but I don't care.  My son's girlfriend's family want to throw a birthday party for him tomorrow.  This is great.  However, for his birthday, he borrowed my car to go to a wedding, and stayed there overnight.  Just cam...
Read more

Monday

Have been doing a lot of thinking tonight.  I realize I can hold a grudge.  In my life, I have been abandoned by 2 mothers and a father.  However both mothers decided to come back into my life around the same time.  And it was a case of "let's forget about what was and there was nothing in the middle".  Everything is normal, we go on as if nothing happened.  Excuse me, but FUCK THAT.  I am not going to forget everything and just act like everything is normal.  I hate swearing, but there are a few times when it is warranted and this is one of them. Sorry for the rant.  It just really ticks me off that they expect me to be available when they decide to show up, like it's a family obligation.  There has never actually been a family situation. O.k. I have gotten it out of my system.  Deep breaths.  Relax.  Done. How are all my friends today?  Hope you are having a great week.  Just took Kayla for her walk....
Read more

Saturday

Not a lot happening today.  Got the cleaning done.  Relaxed, had a drink.  Watching "Night at the Museum".   Nice Saturday night.  It's a fun movie. Wow, tomorrow is Greg's birthday.  35 years old.  Never thought either of us would make it this far.  :-).  He was born on a Saturday morning, September 4 at 5:59 a.m.  Kept me up all night.  This was after 2 false labors. He really turned into a great young man.  Has a store he opened with a partner.  He is wonderful.   Happy birthday, Greg.  Really proud of you. Anyhow, that's it for today.  It's a long weekend with rain for most of it.  Blah.  But I am getting a lot done. Have a great rest of the weekend, my friends.  TTFN
Read more