I am so conflicted. Got a text from my brother that my mom has died. Don't really feel much. She had me at 16, no judgement, and gave me up a year later. Then she had another child that she gave up. Then she had my brother, all different fathers. Still no judgement. She then went on to have 2 more with someone she married, However, whenever I met her, all the talk was about how everything went with her "family". This had nothing to do with me, the "family" she gave me to was extremely abusive. So, while I regret she has died, I don't have any real feelings. It is what it is. She had pancreatic cancer, so I felt it was more beneficial for her to pass. Then, today, I learned that a neighbor, and a good friend, passed. I watched the ambulance outside of my apartment for quite a while. I felt more for the neighbor than I did for my mom. I am not a horrible person for this. I perceive this as you get what you put into this. Olga, I am so sorry I didn't get t...
Popular posts from this blog
We have had the most fantastic fall so far. These are photos of the sunset a couple of nights ago. Absolutely amazing. Temperatures in the high 50s low 60s. Can't believe we are half way through November and I am still able to wear my sandals. Then we had a couple of days of rain and gray skies. We are supposed to get snow later this week. But a couple of days ago, I stopped into a store and got a great deal on a pair of winter boots. Usually sell for $120 and got them for $53 on sale. I guess all good things must come to an end. At least now I am prepared. I have also finished my Christmas shopping. Might pick up a couple of other things, but am finished for the most part. Crappy, though, that a boss I really liked got fired a week and a half ago. I miss her. I am now stuck with a boss who I don't mind, but didn't really like. Our workplace has gotten really toxic. One worker, who is a POC, accuses everyone of racism whenever she doesn't get her own way. So sad....
When I was 2, my mother gave me away. She then went on to have 3 more kids that she kept. The people she gave me to were abusive. They split when I was 8. Life went on. When I was 15 I was thrown out because the "boyfriend" didn't like me. From then on, I had one failed relationship after another. My last one wanted me to choose him over my son. Not going to happen. So no, nobody has ever truly loved me. Sad.

Comments